Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
