so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
