The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
