oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
