He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
