I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
