hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
