is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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