yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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