i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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