Banned from zoo.
Again?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
