just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
