this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
