it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
