$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize