So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
