yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
