i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
