Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

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(313): View more from Michigan

We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.

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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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(352): View more from Florida

Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

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(409): View more from Texas

I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?

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