i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize