This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize