I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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