My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
