Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
