I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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