have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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