the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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