He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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