made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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