Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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