I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
