how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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