you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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