Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
