idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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