Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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