Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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