I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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