I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
