Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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