i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
