mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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