Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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