Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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