you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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