i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
