Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
