I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
