I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
