yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
