1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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