U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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