I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize