I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
