Me too!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
