Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

You should get sea herpes

(831): View more from California

I mean sea horses

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(407): View more from Florida

Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.

Fav 50 947 6188
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(206): View more from Washington

Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.

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(310): View more from California

I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.

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(607): View more from New York

I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.

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(904): View more from Florida

Do dollar stores sell vibrators?

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